Don't be that Girl

Found this and it cracked me up.


Tom,


It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel
like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am
truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people
in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I
would ever want to wrong in any way.


There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even
try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a
stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve
it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us,
what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.
It is weird, the world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile
if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel
beyond crushed.


I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't.
I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this
is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and
stupid, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and
weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect
that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I
hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person,
because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back
what happened. I am so sorry.



- Sarah


Dear Sarah,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under 'L' for
'Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about'.
You did a stupid thing huh?


No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is 'a stupid
thing'; Mixing in a red Sock with a load of whites is 'a stupid thing';
Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar
wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much raisin bran
that morning isn't as much a 'Stupid thing' as it is grounds for
permanent removal from my social calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if

it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public
toilet not once, but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think
that by saying 'Well, I didn't Fuck him' somehow gave you a clean slate.
So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world 'looked funny' to you
yesterday. Since your World revolves around blow dryers, golden
retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most
unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24
hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think
you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the
mill cum-guzzling blonde who commands about as much respect as your
average child porn collector.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you
really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do.
Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I forwarded this email to about 100 people.

Talk to you never,

Tom

Original article can be found here

TGIF Jam: Hypnotize

Fridays are the best day of the week. you can goof all day at work and then go home and kick it for two days. in honor of how awesome Fridays are, ever Friday I'll be posting a new jam.

This weeks song is: Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize

I thought that in honor of "Black Friday" we should have a Black Video. So here is one of the best rap songs ever.



I just love to see the RIDICULOUS amounts of money that were spent on videos back in the day when videos still meant something.

And just because listening to that song got me jonesen for more Bigee here's a bonus Video.

Notorious B.I.G - Big Pappa



NEXT WEEK: Techno/Dance/Electro/another name that means the same thing!!!

Happy Thanksgiving

Don't eat some much turkey you wind up like this kid.

Love,
Ryan and Megu

You have been Warned

I recieved this in an email at work the other day, and usually I just trash this kind of stuff, but with a BIG shopping season coming up, I thought I'd do my part.

WARNING FROM POLICE

THIS APPLIES TO BOTH WOMEN AND MEN

BEWARE OF PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE--
NEW WAY TO DO CARJACKINGS (NOT A JOKE)'

Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating... You walk

across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You

start the engine and shift into Reverse.When you look into the rearv iew mirror to back out of your

parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle

of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your

doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or

whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach

the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out

of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically

mow you down as they speed off in your car.



And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car.

So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your

money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are

now compromised!


BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED.


If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just

drive away. Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you

read this e-mail. I hope you will forward this to friends and

family, especially to women. A purse contains all kinds of

personal information and identification documents, and you

certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.

Fact of the Week and the Temple of Doom

In a continuing effort to educate the masses. Each week I'll post a new interesting FACT, and sometimes I'll add joke or goofy comment with it. let me know what you think.

The economist Kevin Murphy has calculated that in terms of long-term health implications, a cheeseburger costs $2.50 more than a salad.

That is why Big Macs have lettuce and onions on it, salad on beef.

More Toothpaste for Dinner

toothpastefordinner.com

Boo Homework

As I think it's become apparent by now, no one should be allowed to be a parent, including me. Below is another reason to support this idea. This parent dodn't look over there child's homework and look how that turned out for them.


Mommy works at Home Depot and sells shovels. Need I say More.

Rocky Mountain Wedding

Congrats to Josh and Emily Radcliffe!!!!!


By the time most of you guys read this I'll be in Denver Colorado At the McQuinn/Radcliffe wedding. Congrats to the both of them. leave them some well wishes at

www.emilyandjosh.com

finally today I'll leave you with this cool pic



Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get retarded in the Mile High City. SILVER BULLET!!!!

TGIF Jam: Deee-lite

Fridays are the best day of the week. you can goof all day at work and then go home and kick it for two days. in honor of how awesome Fridays are, ever Friday I'll be posting a new jam.

This weeks song is: Deee-Lite » Groove Is in the Heart

Deee-Lite |MTV Music

If your head is not bobbin after listening to this then you simply have have no soul. This song would get Christ himself out on the dance floor.



I can find almost any video ever made, so if you have a request let me know and I'll see what I can do. also make sure you check back because you'll never know what I'll pick next week, it could be anything.

NEXT WEEK: A "Black" video in honor of "Black Friday"!!!!

Raiders of the Fact of the Week

In a continuing effort to educate the masses. Each week I'll post a new interesting FACT, and sometimes I'll add joke or goofy comment with it. let me know what you think.

According to prediction models, the expected rises on tempature and precipitation due to global warming will actually increase annual agricultural production in the U.S., and therefore agricultural profits, by about 4 percent, or $1.3 Billion.

And all of this extra food will go towards making America “Officially” the most obese nation on the planet. We’ll see no need to feed all the rest of the world with this surplus, the skinny darkies can fend for themselves.

TGIF Jam: Nothing Left

Fridays are the best day of the week. you can goof all day at work and then go home and kick it for two days. in honor of how awesome Fridays are, ever Friday I'll be posting a new jam.

This weeks song is: As I Lay Dying » Nothing Left & As I Lay Dying » The Sound of Truth

now you may be asking your self, "self, why did he post two videos?"

well for a couple of reasons.
1. both videos are awesome
2. "The Sound of Truth" starts right where "nothing left ends at.

Nothing left

As I Lay Dying |MTV Music

and just because i'm a nice guy (and because it neccessary)here are the lyrics to the songs.

This world was never worthy
But how can I call it unfaithful
Every promise was fulfilled
As decay crawled from it's throat
Like the dead rising from an open grave (2x)
Lips of splendor and tongue of deceit
All dying now as our fragile wrists hold only waste

Like those gasping for their last breath
We cannot hide there's nothing left

Like those gasping for their last breath
We cannot hide there's nothing left

(Nothing left) 2x
(There's nothing left)
(Nothing left)

If All my sorrow has led me here
Then I would cry all of my tears
To have this chance again (2x)
And know there's more than this
And know there's more than you

Like those gasping for their last breath
We cannot hide there's nothing left

Like those gasping for their last breath
We cannot hide there's nothing left

The Sound of Truth

As I Lay Dying |MTV Music

We have all heard what we wanted to hear
"Truth" that sounds right to our ears

[Chorus]

[Verse 1]
But what wisdom is there within us
To live based on the feeling of our hearts
How many times has instinct let us down
Never to be thought through
Never to be questioned
Say what you really mean
When your ambition calls you (calls you)
For what use is there, is there in praying
If you will only hear what you want to hear?

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
We speak of fighting to resist this world
But what about the battle within us?
If we have chosen to live against the grain
Then why are we all facing the same way?
There is no difference between us and them
If we all blindly seek truth from sentiments

If you enjoyed these songs check out RadioU they have tons of great songs with a positive, but not preachy message.


I can find almost any video ever made, so if you have a request let me know and I'll see what I can do. also make sure you check back because you'll never know what I'll pick next week, it could be anything.

NEXT WEEK: 90's electro dance music!!!!

Another Fact of the Week

Fact of the Week is a new feature to Lewlessons, in a continuing effort to educate the masses. Each week I'll post a new interesting FACT, and sometimes I'll add joke or goofy comment with it. let me know what you think.

In nineteenth-century Bavaria, excessive rain led to an increase in property crime. Why? The rain damaged the rye crop, which raised food prices, which led hungry families to steal. Violent crime, however went down. Rye was also used to make beer, so a price spike in rye led to a price spike in beer. As less beer was consumed, there were fewer assaults and murders

Beat Children

Because if you don't, they turn out like these little turds.





Praise the Lord for Birth control.

-Ryan

----------------
Now playing: Beast - Mr. Hurricane
via FoxyTunes

TGIF Jam: I Think We're Alone Now

Fridays are the best day of the week. you can goof all day at work and then go home and kick it for two days. in honor of how awesome Fridays are, ever Friday I'll be posting a new jam.

This weeks song is: Tiffany - I Think We're Alone Now



This Video is absolutely TERRIBLE. all it is is just tiffany staring into the camera playing with her hair trying to look sexy while she's like 15. luckily this song is THE JAM!!



I can find almost any video ever made, so if you have a request let me know and I'll see what I can do. also make sure you check back because you'll never know what I'll pick next week, it could be anything.

NEXT WEEK: Christian Metal!!!!

Picture Wednesday?

I know that Pictures should normally go up on Monday, but I couldn't resist this once I saw it.

No matter your political position (most of you know mine) you have to admit that what happened Tuesday night way a monumental event in American history. 40 years ago people were arrested, beaten, and killed because of the color of their skin, and now 40 years later, a man can hold the highest position in this country without his skin color playing the slightest factor/



I bet he explodes it too.

I also just want to post a couple of excerpts for his acceptance speech.

In this country, we rise or fall as one nation, as one people. Let's resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.

Let's remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity.

Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.

As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.

And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too.

I read an article on CNN about the woman mentioned below and the fact that Obama brings he up in his speech was really heartwarming.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight's about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing: Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons -- because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America -- the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination.

And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change.

Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves -- if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.
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This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.

Congratulations Mr. Obama, you are truly a great representation of the progress of this wonderful nation of ours.

Fact of the Week

Fact of the Week is a new feature to Lewlessons, in a continuing effort to educate the masses. Each week I'll post a new interesting FACT, and sometimes I'll add joke or goofy comment with it. let me know what you think.

In the lobby of a Hyatt hotel, a one-day pass for wireless Internet connection cost $10.95. Not cheap, but standard for nice hotels. In the hotel’s ballroom, however- where corporate conferences are typically held-a one-day pass costs $300. Economists refer to such a scenario as price discrimination. Economists also refer to this as some ol’ Bullsh**.