Rocky Mountain Wedding

Congrats to Josh and Emily Radcliffe!!!!!


By the time most of you guys read this I'll be in Denver Colorado At the McQuinn/Radcliffe wedding. Congrats to the both of them. leave them some well wishes at

www.emilyandjosh.com

finally today I'll leave you with this cool pic



Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get retarded in the Mile High City. SILVER BULLET!!!!

I've been Cute Since Birth

In honor of my little sister's birthday here's a pic of the lewis kids. Aren't we cute?



look at me mackin' the clip-on. we were like 6 and 3. good times.

A personal update

So I want to apologize to everyone for the lack of updates on the site. Things have been kind of hectic in Lewis land. I moved offices, so I’m no longer downtown. Megan and I have been getting all of our financial affairs in order so that we can start the process of saving for a house. I’ve started working out regularly (I’ll post more about this in the coming days and weeks.)
Megan’s birthday is today, wish her happy birthday and I’ll post some pics of her big day soon.

L'Chayim,
-Ryan

"It's like bringing a Knife to a Gun Fight"

The post below is something I wrote to myself like two years ago and
never did anything with. below is what transpired and my thoughts
since then at the end.



Last week I go over to josh and troy’s place to kick it and study
some Romans and all that jazz and I bring up the subject of
vacationing with our significant others and the response I get back
from both is EXACTLY THE SAME.

Troy says “I’ve thought about going up to Chicago with Lindsay with
my friends and her friends but nothing where we would stay the night,
that just wouldn't be a good thing.”

And then josh chimes in, “ I couldn’t put myself in that situation.”
To Which I reply, “Why?”

“Man, I just think the temptation would be to great for something
like that.”

Sheesh. Am I smarter then everyone around me, or just that naïve. I
am really that dumb to think I can travel to the big city, get a

hotel room, and not get super coital. Apparently my self control is
better then that of my associates. We set boundaries early on in our
relationship, and I’m expected to respect those boundaries, as is
she. It’s not like they’re pumping Viagra into the Chicago water
supply just because they know I’m coming. I don’t forsee as soon as I
step into the hotel room, megu slams the door, yells “have your way
with me” and then runs to jump on top of me. (Editor’s Note: not that
I would be opposed to this at all, but ya never know, stranger things
have happened.)*1

I guess this brings me to this whole idea of “!!!CHRISTIAN DATING!!!”
The rules and regulations that “couples” put themselves through are
both unnatural and petty.

“We’re not kissing until we’re engaged.”

“We don’t hold hands.”

“We don’t do things like that.”

No, What you don’t do is act normal.*2

Most people don’t know this but there were actually 15 commandments
but Moses drop one of them tablets (They’re heavy) but researchers
have actually found them and I present them to you now.

11. THOU SHALT BEHAVE WHEN AROUND THE OPPOSITE SEX

12. THOU SHALT KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY SMOOCH

13. THOU SHALT KEEP THINES GENITALS IN THOUST TOGA’S UNTIL TOLD

OTHERWISE

14. THOU SHALT BEWARE HOT CHICKS, FOR THEY ARE DANGEROUS

15. THOU SHALT KNOW HOW TO LAY NEXT TO A WOMAN AND NOT HAVE “HANKY

PANKY”



I didn’t know God had such a since of humor, but hey he created
manatees so you can’t put much past him. My favorite has to be 12. it
should have been a law in like 2kings or Hosea or something that said
before a guy proposes to a girl he should get to make out with her
for like 10 minutes to know what’s what. I would be livid if I
married a chick and the night of the honeymoon you get your first
smooch and it’s like kissing a camel. Just thank the Lord that I’m
not a divorce court judge, if a dude came in and was like, “look,
judge, sleeping with this woman is like having sex with a buffalo.”

“judgment for the plaintiff.”

Now, granted I am being a little phecieous, but you get my point. And
no I’m not talking about rampant Sex in the middle of the street but
on the same token you should be knowledgeable of your partner and
their body. Bottom line, just take the time smooch on your chick a
little bit, she’ll want you too. And if she doesn’t, then get rid of
her because chances are she’s more trouble then she’s worth.

*1 This has since happened, which is AWESOME, love you doodlebug ;)

*2 I know that if certain people read this (namely josh and Troy)
that I'm going to catch alot of crap for it, but you know what, when
I wrote this originally, I thought it and you what, I still do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After thoughts

After rereading that, I stand by it. I'll concede to that fact that
the relationship Megan and I have is not exactly what you would call
normal, but it's the best one I've ever been in. I want to make it
clear that I have all the respect in the world for someone who
chooses to have this kind of relationship, it's weird and doesn't
make you anymore sanctified then me, but I'm not going to disrespect
it.



----------------
Now playing: A Perfect Circle - Renholdër
via FoxyTunes

"Mediocrity is the killer"

I went through my computer last night and found all of these old notes I had written to myself. I'll post another one Friday but below is one from my days at NBA. this was written sometime during the summer of 2006.


Today at work this supervisor Christine, who if she was a guy would be renamed Mike Hunt, asked me if I’ve ever heard of a guy named Gerry Rafferty.

I’m like “no, got no clue.” Didn’t know if he was a client, a new hire or what.

She said, “he wrote Boston ave. the song, you know it.”

“No Christine, got no clue.”

“Oh, come on, he was a famous singer in the 70’s and 80’s, you should know him.”

‘Christine, I wasn’t born until 1983, and no, I’ve never heard of him.”

“Really! How old are you?”

“…uh, I’m 25.”

“Wow, your kidding me, your that young. I thought you were in your 30’s”

“wow. 30 huh. Errrite. That’s cool.”

“No. you know. Just the way you are. I just thought you were older that’s all.”

“Well, my hemorrhoids have been itching lately and as of late it does feel like my hair is thinning.”

“…uhhh.”

And at that point, knowing my humor was lost on her, I turned around and put my face on my desk.

So because I pride my self on education and enjoy obtaining knowledge, automatically I’m middle aged. That’s kind of depressing. I take time out of my day to educate all of these idiots that they insist on placing around me at work, and that’s the thanks I get.

The real problem lies in the fact that half of the things I want to say I’m not allowed to and the other half is so condescending that no one would understand them anyways.

I know that’s a very elitist mentality but it’s just the way I feel. Most people are completely complacent with where they are in their lives and that’s just depressing. There are so many things out there in the world to see and do and experience that anyone who just wants to go home watch TV would just be taken out back and shot, society has no use for you. I know that sounds like a terrible thing to say but the only benefit that these people have is I still need someone to screw up my taco bell order and I still need someone give me the wrong change when I get gas, and until they make a completely self sufficient machine, I still need someone to pickup my garbage. I mean sweet juicy Jesus, read a book. And the author needs to have a PH, D. after his name. and no before you ask Dr. Atkins and Dr. Phil don’t count (Dr. Phil has his own circle of hell waiting on him.)

Who doesn't love money

In my seeming rather futile quest to garner attention from the billions of people on the Internet and to get some type of back and forth dialog on this machine I’ve created I realized I’m going about it the wrong way. I’ve always hoped that people liked what I’ve had to say and that’s why you visit the blog and vote or leave a comment or whatever, but I now realize that’s completely wrong. You go to the blog hoping to find something you can relate to. We’ll I’ve been thinking about what everyone can relate to and this is what I’ve come up with:

1. Money

2. Sex

3. Pizza

4. A hatred of Canadians (they’re to nice not to be up to something)

We’re all slaves to the dollar in some shape or form, so here's how its going to be. between now and August 15th I will be giving away 30 dollars. thats right a real twenty dollars. 10 bucks will go to the person who posts the most comments between now and August 15th. the other 10 bucks will go to one person who posts a comment on a random blog of my choosing. you can back post on the blog, so go back through the archives and post on some old stuff. The last 10 dollars will go to one select person who clicks the little button in the corner to subscribe to the feed. When you subscribe kill two birds with one stone and post a comment saying you subscribed.

What this also means is that one ambitious person can win all three contests. Also Megan (who I decided to put on the payroll as a regular) and I will be posting ATLEAST ten new blogs between now and August 15th. Please post so you can take my money, Ya Jerks.

L'Chayim,
-Ryan

The Beginning of Something Amazing or Awful

So my first post to this newly created blog, I thought should mainly be about myself, and then things can spread out from there.

This “Social Experiment” start when I had lunch with a good friend of mine, Greg Meredith. Greg will be getting married in a couple of weeks and besides just catching up, he wanted advise and tips about the first few months of marriage. I offered what I felt were helpful suggestions and things to be aware of.
He responds, “That’s good stuff Lew, you should start a blog and call it ‘Life Lessons from the Lew, but you could put a picture of a toilet on there like the British Loo (hence the outhouse) like lessons from the crapper. I would love to read something like that.”

Now your asking yourself, “Ryan why would Greg need to ask you. Is it because of your charming wit, your keen observational skills, or is it because you got married last July?”

The correct answer is all three. On July 2nd 2007, I became the luckiest man on the planet. I got to marry Megan Thornburg (now Lewis, I’m a traditionalist.) I love my wife to no end. Not only does she tolerate me, she is the funniest woman I have ever met and she has a heart of gold.

And now just basic info so we can get on with the show. I have a full time job doing pseudo technical support. I currently live in a town north of Dayton Ohio, called Urbana. I hate it and can’t wait to move back to Dayton. It is the A-typical small American town, where there is like a dozen minorities and everybody keeps a watchful eye on them. I have a little sister and parents who live on opposite sides of the same town.

Any other personal information anyone wants to know email me and I’ll be happy to answer any questions. And that bring us to the conclusion of this first post. I’m really hoping that what this turns into is not so much an advise column, but more of a life column. “Ryan, what should I do about my crazy ex-girlfriend?” “Ryan, do you think of Fight Club is an accurate representation of the American male?” “Ryan, how can I become wise like you?” “Ryan, why do you have such a smartass mouth?”. please email me anything, I’ll post your question and hopefully an insightful and humorous response to help you sleep ever so slightly better at night.