"You've lived a lie for so long, now you believe it"

I found this video and feel that everyone should watch it. there are better video's out there but this one is simple and to the point.

1. McCain is an idiot and a liar.
2. Look at the Picture of Mr. Samuel J. Gopher and play the clip.
3. You don't even need to watch the clip, just listen to it and concentrate on the gopher.
4. Realize that McCain never comes close to answering her question.
5. Crack up and share this with a friend.

"Mediocrity is the killer"

I went through my computer last night and found all of these old notes I had written to myself. I'll post another one Friday but below is one from my days at NBA. this was written sometime during the summer of 2006.


Today at work this supervisor Christine, who if she was a guy would be renamed Mike Hunt, asked me if I’ve ever heard of a guy named Gerry Rafferty.

I’m like “no, got no clue.” Didn’t know if he was a client, a new hire or what.

She said, “he wrote Boston ave. the song, you know it.”

“No Christine, got no clue.”

“Oh, come on, he was a famous singer in the 70’s and 80’s, you should know him.”

‘Christine, I wasn’t born until 1983, and no, I’ve never heard of him.”

“Really! How old are you?”

“…uh, I’m 25.”

“Wow, your kidding me, your that young. I thought you were in your 30’s”

“wow. 30 huh. Errrite. That’s cool.”

“No. you know. Just the way you are. I just thought you were older that’s all.”

“Well, my hemorrhoids have been itching lately and as of late it does feel like my hair is thinning.”

“…uhhh.”

And at that point, knowing my humor was lost on her, I turned around and put my face on my desk.

So because I pride my self on education and enjoy obtaining knowledge, automatically I’m middle aged. That’s kind of depressing. I take time out of my day to educate all of these idiots that they insist on placing around me at work, and that’s the thanks I get.

The real problem lies in the fact that half of the things I want to say I’m not allowed to and the other half is so condescending that no one would understand them anyways.

I know that’s a very elitist mentality but it’s just the way I feel. Most people are completely complacent with where they are in their lives and that’s just depressing. There are so many things out there in the world to see and do and experience that anyone who just wants to go home watch TV would just be taken out back and shot, society has no use for you. I know that sounds like a terrible thing to say but the only benefit that these people have is I still need someone to screw up my taco bell order and I still need someone give me the wrong change when I get gas, and until they make a completely self sufficient machine, I still need someone to pickup my garbage. I mean sweet juicy Jesus, read a book. And the author needs to have a PH, D. after his name. and no before you ask Dr. Atkins and Dr. Phil don’t count (Dr. Phil has his own circle of hell waiting on him.)

"You wear that Cross like a Dagger"

HOUSTON (AP) — Renowned evangelical pastor Joel Osteen told jurors Friday that his wife never assaulted a flight attendant over a small spill on her airplane seat.

Osteen was called as a witness Friday in the civil trial of a lawsuit filed by Continental Airlines flight attendant Sharon Brown, who has accused Victoria Osteen of assaulting her before the start of a 2005 flight to Vail, Colo.

During nearly two hours of testimony, Joel Osteen, who was on the same flight, said the incident was "an unfortunate misunderstanding" stemming from his wife's requests for flight attendants to clean up a spill on the armrest of her first-class seat.

Ok, first of all, the article doesn't say the flight attendant spilled the drink on her or even spilled the drink at all. From this point Mrs. Osteen really starts to shine.

Victoria Osteen said when she first told a flight attendant about the spill, she was handed some napkins. She said she responded, "'It's not my job.' I didn't say it in an ugly tone of voice."

"We would never disrespect authority or disrespect (Brown). There's no way in the world," Victoria Osteen assaulted Brown, said Joel Osteen, who was called to the witness stand by Brown's attorney, Reginald McKamie.

Osteen then serenaded the courtroom with his split tongue southern draw, "I'm too busy counting the millions I've made from the suckers who have bought my books to disrespect authority."

Then just in case you have you have no clue who these people are or why you should care about any of this...

Joel and Victoria Osteen are co-pastors of Houston's Lakewood Church, which draws about 42,000 people each week for services. Joel Osteen's weekly television address is broadcast nationally and internationally and who has written books that have been sold around the globe.

On Thursday, another flight attendant on the plane, Maria Johnson, testified that Victoria Osteen demanded special attention to clean up the small spill. When she didn't get her way, Osteen became verbally and physically abusive to both flight attendants, eventually grabbing Brown by the shoulders, elbowing her in the chest( note: I've also heard it was "the left breast" CAT FIGHT and pushing her out of the way in an attempt to get into the cockpit, Johnson testified.

Brown claims in her lawsuit that after pushing her, Victoria Osteen tried to get into the cockpit. Victoria Osteen denied that, telling jurors she just wanted to get away from the situation.

I've flown first class, and it ain't that big. "Away from the situation," where are you going babes, from the front of the closet to the back of the closet? Retard.

McKamie also asked Joel Osteen why he said in one of his religious messages that if it wasn't for him, his wife would be in prison.

Osteen said he meant it to be a comical statement about the differences between him and his wife, that he likes routine and considers himself boring while his wife is outgoing and likes to go to new restaurants and new places.

"You don't go to jail because you like different restaurants, do you?" McKamie asked, as the packed courtroom laughed.

"No sir," Joel Osteen said.

I have no clue why this is in the article or why it's relevant. what a douche. make that a douche nozzle, that's the business end.

McKamie also asked Osteen whether his family was used to getting special treatment, making reference to an anecdote in one of the pastor's books in which he wrote about being allowed to take an expensive television camera onboard a flight to India even though it was against the rules.

"You feel that you're entitled to the favor of God ... to do things other people can't do," McKamie said.

"All of God's children are," Osteen said.

"and by "all of God's children" I mean anyone who has ever prayed for Jesus to mail them money because I've told them to," Osteen added.

Brown has claimed the flight attendants asked to have Victoria Osteen removed from the plane, but Joel Osteen testified he and his family left voluntarily.

The Federal Aviation Administration fined Victoria Osteen $3,000 for interfering with a crew member.

Joel Osteen said his wife did not want to pay the fine but he convinced her to do so because he thought it would be a way to put the incident behind them even though they felt they did nothing wrong.

Brown wants an apology and punitive damages amounting to 10 percent of Victoria Osteen's net worth as part of her lawsuit. Brown claims she suffers from depression and post-traumatic stress disorder because of the incident and that her faith has been affected. She is also suing for counseling expenses.

Dear parishioners of Lakewood Church, y'all better pass the offering plate around again this week, because when Vicki spills her third rum and coke on her arm rest, someone's gonna get a titty twister.

That's Hot

So first of all, let me say that I heart tomatoes. I got some from a guy at work and just ate one and it was delicious. Now onto the dumb comment of the day...

A lady at work today said that Paris Hilton was the reason other nations don't respect the United States. Let me put this into context. We were watching CNN at lunch and they were talking about the video Paris Hilton did in response to John McCain's political ad. (Ryan note: If you haven't see it, I embedded it below)

They were showing some comments that people had given and one said something along the lines of I'd rather have Paris Hilton in politics than John McCain in a sex video (which I totally agree with btw...eww). That's when the lady said that Paris Hilton was the reason other nations didn't respect the United States. And it wasn't like a "other nations don't respect the US because of things or people like Paris Hilton" kind of comment, it was a "Specifically, Paris Hilton is the reason other nations don't respect the US" kind of comment. While I do agree that Paris Hilton is an embarassment to this country, she is more than likely not the reason we garner such little respect from some nations. Most of it probably has to do with the moral compass (or lack thereof) of this country as a whole, as well as the crap job our nation's leader has done.

So, question of the day: Who/what do you think is responsible for our country's lack of respect?