Saturday, May 10, 2008

Marital Bliss

So I was thinking this afternoon about what I could post, since the one advice question I was asked has been answered ( that’s what we call a subtle hint to all you laymen out there.) After reviewing what I had planned this weekend, I came up with a few different things that I’ll post over the upcoming days and weeks.
First of all let me say congrats to Mr. & Mrs. Greg Meredith. By the time anyone reads this they’ll have been married for a few hours. A few weeks ago Greg and I had breakfast and he asked what he needed to know to be a new husband. In honor of the newlyweds, I’ll share the quips and wit I bestowed upon him to you all now.

1. Sacrifice - the first thing you’ll learn about being married is that you are the most selfish person on the planet. You quickly come to the conclusion that your own wants and desires come second to your wife’s. No longer are the days of staying out until 4 kickin it with your buddies and makin midnight runs to the waffle house, then stopping by wal-mart to buy a 360 game for no reason. You stay home all the time hanging out with her watching TV or a movie and you’re in bed by 10 (or in Megan’s case 7 jk) you plan to go to the grocery like it’s such a chore, but reschedule it because you’re too lazy to go.
But the truly unique thing about all of this is that you don’t care. One of my wife and I’s favorite activities is what we call NO SHOWER SUNDAYS. It consists of getting up whenever, reading post secret, watching Veronica Mars (one of the best shows ever made, Netflix it). Then we go upstairs to play Lego star wars. Grab lunch, head back down stairs to watch TV or a movie (maybe get a little coital) , and generally just waste the day away. But you know the best part, I love it. The day flies by, but there’s no one I would rather spend it with.

2. Examination - the second thing you’ll start to do is examine your relationship. You’ll do everything in your power to make your wife happy. I’d rather lose a finger then have my wife pissed at me. You’ll start doing dumb stuff you would never consider doing for another woman to please her. Of all the things you do for your wife, 95% of it will go unnoticed ( at least visibly or orally anyway), but you can’t complain because you know damn good and well she goes out of her way for you and you never notice either. Always do little things to show your wife you love her. She was dumb enough to marry you, so edify (praise- your big word of the day) her constantly. Last night I left a card for her in her car, so that when she got in the car this morning she would have a little surprise. It took hardly no time to do, and she knows that your thinking of her.

3. Xylophone - now, you may be asking yourself what does the most oddly spelled instrument on the planet have to do with having a healthy marriage. Take a moment to look at the whole page. Really let your eyes relax and you see the hidden message. The hidden message is a vital part of a healthy marriage. I had to keep that on the DL. Whoever finds the hidden message, post it in the comments, and you’ll win a prize, a for real prize.

I would like everyone to do me a favor, copy the link to the site up above, and post it somewhere on the net, whether that be in a message board signature, your myspace or face book, or your own site, I want this thing to grow, but I need your help.


1 comment:

Kyle Freaking Borton said...

I totally win a prize for finding sex!!!! Yes!