Sunday, May 4, 2008

Is it cannibalism if they taste good?

So the first comment I got on this blog had a Question in it, and as I stated I would answer anything that comes across my desk. So our first question comes from Kyle. Kyle wrote

"If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?"

I'm under the impression that Kyle thinks I wont take this seriously, but oh cointreau.

I think there are several factors that weigh in with something like this.
1. Do I have access to condiments? If so, what kind?
2. Am I stranded on a deserted island, or am I on the way to work?
3. Where could I find a bun(s) to accommodate such an endeavor?

I have been debating this question all week and I think I have my answer. Yes I would eat myself. I’d cover myself in mustard and chili and cheese and I’d be delicious. My only fear would be that I’d be so delicious I would know when to stop. Sure eating away at this gut I have or my huge yet muscular calves or my cankles would take some time, but I love hotdogs, and hotdogs love me. What’s really funny about this whole situation is earlier this afternoon Megan and I were working on a puzzle, watching TV and I watched a hour long special about the best places in America to get a hotdog. Now all I can think about is driving to Jersey to get a hotdog.

This shhtoopid question has taken me to the brink of madness, but hey, that's what I do for my readers. I pray that God never forces me to make a decision like, “If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself.”

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

oh brother... (pun intended). are you trying to be the next Dear Abby? i think that would be funny... you kind of remind me of Carrie from Sex and the City, but not as skinny of femanine. At any rate, i enjoy your wit and opinion, as i always have during my 21 years of knowing you.