The Other Lew

Hello! This is the other Lew. I have some life lessons of my own. Basically, most of my lessons will be “don’t be dumb and don’t say things that make you look super uneducated.” I’ll also probably be telling funny stories about people in my family. I have a few things saved up but I think I’m going to spread them out because I don’t know when conversations as good as these will happen again.
I’ll begin with one particular lady at work. She’s an older lady who is very opinionated and will probably be the focus of most of my lessons. As many of you may know, Tony Snow died last Saturday from colon cancer that had spread to his liver. First of all, let this event be a lesson to all of you stubborn men (and women too) to get a colonoscopy. For those of you who don’t know who Tony Snow is, he was the Press Secretary for President George W. Bush from April 2006 to September 2007. He also served George H. W. Bush as chief speech writer and later Deputy Assistant to the President for Media Affairs. Prior to his stints at the White House, Mr. Snow was a journalist who won numerous awards as a syndicated columnist. Anyway, at work this past Monday, the news was talking about Tony Snow and what a great man he was and how nice he was and how he was a wonderful American citizen and father. To which Naomi says, “He was a handsome man but he needs a new hair cut. His wife should have said something about that.” Really? I think it’s a little late for that. Maybe his wife told the mortician to take a little off the top for his funeral. I’ll bet that was the first thing on her mind. Never mind the fact that she just lost her husband and the father of her three children at age 53.

Ok so onto something a little light-hearted. My mother is probably one of the least inappropriate people I know. She doesn’t like to talk about bodily functions, never burps and only toots in her sleep (I’m sure she’d kill me for saying all of this and be totally embarrassed). So the other day, she comes out of the bathroom and looks at me very seriously and says, “Do you ever go to the bathroom and wipe and your toilet paper is clean? It’s like it just slides right out.” So here’s the question of the day: Have you ever gone to the bathroom and wiped and your toilet paper was clean? Please respond in the comments section. I am genuinely interested. Thanks for reading!